As much as the world around us changes, the rules of love and relationships have stayed the same for hundreds of years. While we now use tools like email, text messages, and facebook to communicate with each other, our pursuit of the opposite sex still follows the path defined by historic romances like Romeo and Juliet or even Adam and Eve.

The point is, there are simple needs all women have that, if not fulfilled, will lead them to pursue another partner. Ideally guys would recognize this before their girlfriend leaves, but the truth is that many men get lazy and have let things spiral out of their control. And that lands them here – looking for ways to get back the love they once had.

The challenge to fixing a relationship after a breakup (as opposed to before getting dumped) is that you now have to prove your ex wrong. Instead of simply apologizing for your mistakes, you have to prove that she made the wrong decision to leave. In other words, you are asking her to accept that her response to your behavior was irrational.

This means you are fighting a war on two fronts: your mistakes and her pride. Not only do you need to show signs that your relationship can improve, but you’ll also need her to symbolically admit she was wrong. As hard as it all this may seem, thousands of couple get back together every day – so don’t give up!

Here are my favorite posts from over the years. Hopefully you’ll find some advice that helps you attract your ex girlfriend back…

Where to Begin After She Dumps You

Why Did Your Ex Girlfriend Date You?

Sending Flowers After a Break Up (Don’t)

How Video Games Can Get Your Ex GF Back

Make Your Ex Girlfriend Miss You Like Crazy

How the No Contact Rule Works

6 Ways to Get Your Ex Girlfriend’s Attention

Asking Your Ex Girlfriend Out

The Secrets to a Happy Girlfriend

Cheering for You,

Elliot

See the rest here:
The Best of My Ex Girlfriend Advice

Stalking, sending flowers, texting too much, etc. These things embarrass your ex. Seriously, how would you like to be sitting at work and suddenly have a huge pile of flowers dropped on your desk. Every single person in the office is going to ask who they are from. What is your ex supposed to say then?

Now imagine if you are at dinner with your parents an someone kept texting you. Someone you are upset with right now. Your parents are going to wonder where all the calls are coming from and ask about them. Do you feel like explaining your dating problems to your parents? No… and neither does your ex.

Use your head and come up with ways to get your ex’s attention without looking like a jackass. Because once you become “embarrassing” you’ll lose any chance of getting her back.

The rest is here:
Don’t Embarass Your Ex Girlfriend

Most of the things that people buy are designed to help them NOW. Only a small percentage of our purchases are made for the long term. With that in mind, you want to target emotions that will bring immediate benefits to your ex girlfriend.

This includes emotions like…
excitement
surprise
hopeful
anticipation
trust
admiration
serenity
curiosity
ecstasy

These are high-range emotions that can completely change a person’s thoughts and opinions. They are also somewhat addictive, so the more you can provide improves the odds they will come back again.

On the flip side are negative emotions that we all try to avoid…
anger
frustration
fear
disgust
boredom

Obviously if you are trying to sell a “better life” using these emotions you are going to struggle. This is why taking the pathetic approach to getting a girl back never works out.

Prove to your ex that you can make her feel the highest of highs when it comes to emotions. We all want to feel good inside and if you become the provider of good feelings then she will stick around.

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Emotions that Attract Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Since the first words are often the hardest, I’ve put together a short list of innocent conversation starters you can use on your ex boyfriend. Note that the focus of each example is to get your EX BF to open up and communicate with you.

“I thought of you yesterday when I saw [insert a news story]. What did you think?”

“Hey [name]! It has been a while… what have you been up to?”

“I know things were crazy after our breakup – I’m sorry about all that. I just wanted to let you know it is all behind us now and I feel much better about everything.”

“I saw you [insert a recent achievement of theirs]. Congratulations! How does it feel?”

“Can you keep a secret? I just found out that [insert compelling information]. What should I/we/they do about it?”

These ideas should get your mind moving in the right direction. It really doesn’t matter what you say as long as you keep it honest and format it in such a way that your ex will have to respond.

Read more:
How to Start a Conversation with Your Ex BF

To help you get started I’m going to list some common things men look for in a partner. See if they match any of the breakup excuses your ex gave you…

Looks
This is one subject that many avoid, but the fact is a lot of men do consider looks an important part of dating. Beauty is subjective and that’s why you need to play off the things you know about your ex boyfriend. An easy way to get a feel for their preference is to think about their favorite celebrities. How do they wear their hair? What kind of style do they have? What roles do they play in movies?

Fun Factor
Are you fun to be around? This is another tough question to ask yourself. Here’s the thing though, dating is about sharing and enjoying each others time. There should be lots of smiles, laughs and memorable moments. If you can’t remember the last time you and your ex laughed out loud together then this is a problem. Of course not everyone is comedian, but it shouldn’t be hard to make your partner smile.

Individualism
An often overlooked secret to successful relationships is a supportive partner. Giving your man the opportunity to explore his dreams is so important. Did you support him when he said he wanted to start a business? How about when he wanted to go out with the guys? We all need to express our individuality, and if that need goes unfulfilled then we will find another outlet.

These three things are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to your ex boyfriend’s needs. Heck, these may not even represent his needs at all! But one thing is certain… somewhere along the line your ex wasn’t getting what he wanted. Identify and fix those issues if you want another shot with him.

Excerpt from:
3 Things Your Ex Boyfriend is Looking For

This can be a golden opportunity for you to make a positive impression on her if you plan accordingly. The hard part is planting the seeds for success long before your time comes. Basically you have two roadblocks in your way… trust and desire. These feelings need to be in place when her new love disintegrates.

How do you nurture these feelings after a breakup? The most effective way is to just be there for her. It sounds easy but of course there is a catch. You have to play it straight without pushing your feelings on her AND stay away from the friends zone. Being honest from the start is your best option.

Sometime after the break up, when things have cooled down enough to call her, tell her that you understand why she needed a break. Be supportive of the break up (even if you have to lie about it). Let your ex know that you still love her but you promise to give her the space she needs. Remind her that if she ever needs anything she can call you anytime… and then walk away.

This simple strategy will rebuild her confidence in you and create some mystery as to where your paths will cross again. Stay in her thoughts by being friendly from a distance. Let her experiment with the new boyfriend. This will be difficult I know, but keep in mind that you are setting yourself up for another chance down the road.

The time will come when your ex girlfriend needs someone to talk to. It might be when her new boyfriend dumps her, or it could be a different life-changing event where she needs to lean on a trusted source. If you do the right things she will look to you for support… and the opportunity to get her back will be there.

Read the rest here:
Be Prepared for Her Meltdown

Here are my favorite angles for defusing these situations…

Laugh Along
This is probably the least preferred but it really can lower his guard. If he wants to look cool around his friends then just let him. When the jokes start flying laugh right along with them. Want to take it to another level? Add to the fun by making fun of yourself. Over time this technique will eliminate the “challenge” of putting you down. Obviously this is not for the easily-offended but if you can’t beat ‘em then join ‘em.

Conversation Bombs
No matter how long you dated your ex-boyfriend you likely have some dirt on them. The next time they play the jerk card consider throwing stones right back at them. How does this help you get back together? You might be surprised at the results. One of the big reasons people breakup is because one person is bored with the other. Showing a little spunk can be just the ticket for sparking an attraction.

Disappear
One of the oldest tricks in the book for getting an ex back is what they call “no contact.” The theory here is your ex will never miss you if you are always around. If you don’t like the way they are treating you then a vacation from your ex might be the best solution. If you go this route then you must commit to it. No phone calls, no emails, no contact. In a perfect situation your ex will reach out to you after they’ve had time to reflect on their bad behavior.

Good Luck – Elliot

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Getting Past the Jerk

I’ve made the argument before that nothing is impossible when it comes to winning back love. However, you do have to set yourself up for success. That begins with loving life and radiating a sense of confidence, both of which are impossible to do when you dwell on the negative.

It is funny how good relationships can look after getting dumped. We think about all the laughs and adventures we had with our ex. For some reason the negative times never make it into those memories and yet they were still there. Coming to grips with the fact that your relationships wasn’t perfect is one step towards embracing your breakup, there are so many stories on TikTok of girls emrbracing their breakup and trying to engage with other girls to help them through it, for the ones interested in sharing the Social Boosting tools to get more viewers and get the stories out there for more.

There are plenty of other positive things you can do while waiting for your ex boyfriend to come back around. The best ideas include the goals and interests you have put on the back-burner the past few years. It will take time to get to know yourself again, but it won’t take long to enjoy the experience.

There is always a brighter way to look at things, and doing so will significantly enhance how others look at you. Use the time after your breakup to expand your boundaries. Relationships can confine us as we get trapped into a routine. I have a favorite quote I use when feeling “trapped” by stress and frustration…

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Hope this helps

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How to Embrace Your Breakup

Think about some of the biggest franchises in the video game world: Madden Football, Call of Duty, Halo, etc. Each sells thousands of copies of every time a new version is released. Consequently, thousands of old versions suddenly become almost worthless. They get tossed into a drawer, never to be played again, or they die a slow death as a used game on store shelves.

So what can you learn from the video game industry that will help you get your ex girlfriend back? The lesson here is that we will always love Madden Football, but our excitement gets renewed each year with the latest release. The core game play never changes much, but having new graphics and options gives the “same old game” an addicting new feel.

Picture coming home to last year’s Call of Duty after playing the new one at your friend’s house. Sure it is comfortable because you already know the boards and secrets, but the excitement level is minimal. All you can think about is how to get your hands on the new version.

Your ex girlfriend still likes you for the same reasons you still like last year’s game – it’s a sentimental attachment. The problem is she has seen the new version out there somewhere. He has some of the same characteristics as you…but he offers more features and excitement.

Bottom line: It is time to upgrade yourself if you want to win her back.

More:
How Video Games Can Get Your Ex GF Back

If you have been persistent in getting back with your ex then it is likely you have been going about the mission alone. Meanwhile he has been out with another girl, experiencing new things, and undoubtedly comparing you to her. Yes, you can argue that him coming back means his feelings for you were real…but what has this time away done to you?

Some relationships bounce back stronger after a breakup when both sides realize the grass is not always greener. However, the other possible outcome includes feelings of awkwardness and jealousy. How does it make you feel to know he needed a vacation from your relationship? Can you trust him to stick around this time?

In my opinion these are all important questions to consider before setting out to get your boyfriend back. If nothing else, you need to make him work harder to come back. The key here is playing hard to get as a flirting technique. Guys love a good challenge, and the longer you keep him at arm’s length the more certain you can be that he is in it for the long term.

See original here:
Can You Handle Your Ex Boyfriend’s Affair?