Wednesday, February 21, 2024

The Loser Lover

June 12, 2007 by  
Filed under Relationship Advice for Women

If you’re thinking “My boyfriend is a loser!” here are the top six signs that you are right.

The first sign that your boyfriend is a loser is if delivers he pizza or has some other ‘loser’ job when he is already in his mid-twenties or older. While there is nothing wrong with a part time or second pizza delivery job to get you through high school or college, or the rough times when your full time job doesn’t weather your temporary financial crisis, someone who, instead of managing or owning the local pizza parlor is one of its drivers is a loser as a boyfriend.

Your boyfriend is a loser if he uses some minor physical injury, condition or deformity to get himself out of working for a living. This kind of lack of ambition points to a big time loser who will never contribute well to the household finances, and certainly won’t help provide you a fun-filled and financially sound retirement. Lose this loser.

The third sign that your boyfriend might be a loser is if he threatens to hurt or kill himself if you break up with him. This goes way beyond the concept of “my boyfriend is a loser,” to the concept that “My boyfriend is mentally and emotionally sick.” And, by the way, you are not responsible for this loser boyfriend. If you’re in a position to coax him into therapy do so. If not, say goodbye and stay away.

Your boyfriend is a loser if he’d rather collect unemployment and wait for that perfect job to come along then take a less-than-perfect but highly respectable position while looking around for the job he really wants. The exception here, of course, is if taking a less desirable job means taking one that is hateful, a big pay cut and leaves no time for the job hunting that you need to do to get back to where you really want to be in your career. The problem with accepting such a job is that you’ve now lost your unemployment benefits and you still don’t have the job that you want.

You should be thinking, “My boyfriend is a loser” if, while unemployed, or in his off-work hours, he refused to help you with the housework. A boyfriend who thinks that you, the woman, should be doing all the work around the home is definitely a loser.

You also should be thinking “My boyfriend is a loser” if he always has some excuse that keeps him from meeting your family. Another even more obvious clue is if this loser of a boyfriend objects to your spending time with your family when you could be with him. Of course, we’re talking in moderation here. Still speaking of family, your boyfriend is a loser if he refuses to spend time with or get to know your children. This is not a guy who is going to take any child raising responsibility, care about their safety or happiness, or help you plan for their future. Dump this loser boyfriend.

These, then, are the primary reasons why you should be telling yourself, “My boyfriend is a loser.”

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Jane Haller runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at

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The Loser Lover

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