Thursday, November 14, 2019

Stop Trying to Control Your Ex Girlfriend

August 26, 2011 by  
Filed under Relationship Advice for Men

Are you really giving your ex girlfriend enough space after your break up? Do you call or text her everyday? Are you always posting on her facebook page or checking up on her through friends? If this sounds like you then you have a control problem…and unless you change you’ll likely never win her love back.

When your ex asks for some space or time apart it means they are overwhelmed. It may or may not have anything to do with your relationship. Sometimes family problems or other stressful situations can strain a relationship. Everyone handles stress in different ways, and if your ex GF wants some time alone then you should oblige her.

It is during this time apart that you have to be very careful. As much as you want to help her you need to keep in mind that it is easier to make things worse at this stage. When someone wants time alone they are going to be extra sensitive to their surroundings. The more you try to sneak in their life the more irritable they will become. Before you know it they will consider you a stalker and do everything they can to avoid you.

Love can make us do some dumb things. Perhaps the dumbest thing is when it causes us to lose our patience. When this happens our natural reaction is to fight to control the situation. When you are dealing with a break up it makes you want to control your ex girlfriend. You might think you are giving them space by not seeing them everyday, but if you keep calling or texting them you are still trying to control their actions…even if you don’t mean for it to be that way.

Does this mean you have to disappear from their life? No, but you must allow them time to get their own issues under control. Gently remind them periodically that you are around if they need any help, but other than that you should let them come back to you. Chances are they will miss you after a period of time, but you can’t speed it up by forcing the issue. Focus on fixing your own broken heart first before you try to fix theirs.

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Stop Trying to Control Your Ex Girlfriend

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